A Dirty Job: A Novel by Christopher Moore

By Christopher Moore

Charlie Asher is a fine looking basic man with an ordinary existence, married to a vibrant and lovely lady who really loves him for his normalcy. They're even approximately to have their first baby. convinced, Charlie's doing okay—until humans begin losing lifeless round him, and in all places he is going a gloomy presence whispers to him from below the streets. Charlie Asher, it kind of feels, has been recruited for a brand new place: as dying.

It's a filthy activity. yet, hello! Somebody's gotta do it.

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Example text

The Emperor held the cane steady. ” “I run my business based on those very principles. ” Charlie found himself affecting the Emperor’s formal speech patterns, as if somehow he had been transported to a royal court where a nobleman was distinguished by bread crumbs in his beard and the royal guard were not above licking their balls. “Well, as a favor, I will accept. ” The Emperor now betrayed the desire in his heart as he let fly a wide grin and hugged the cane to his chest. “It is fine, indeed. ” Charlie smiled, when even a moment before he would have thought his smile lost somewhere in the months past.

The Emperor decided to make a proclamation to the troops about the importance of compassion in the face of the rising tide of heinous fuckery and political weaselocity in the nearby kingdom of the United States. ) But just as he cleared his throat to begin, a cargo van came screeching around the corner, went up on two wheels as it plowed through a row of garbage cans, and slid to a stop not fifty feet away. The driver’s-side door flew open and a thin man in a suit leapt out, carrying a cane and a woman’s fur coat, and made a beeline for the back door of Asher’s.

Charlie tried not to shudder as the old man led him into a grand marble rotunda, with leaded-glass windows running to a vaulted, forty-foot ceiling and a circular staircase that swept up to a landing that led off to the upper wings of the house. Charlie had a dirty job 47 often wondered what it was like to have a house with wings. How would you ever find your car keys? “Come this way,” Mainheart said. ” “I’m sorry about your loss,” Charlie said automatically. He’d been on scores of estate calls.

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